Thursday, September 29, 2011

what about Belgian weather


first of all... this is an attempt
Belgian weather tends to be completely inexplicable
everybody who has lived in Belgium for a year or more knows what I'm talking about

nonetheless, let's try…


WINTER
occurs supposedly between the 21st of December and the 21st of March
(but don't be surprised to find wintery temperatures in "summer" and springy temperatures in "winter")
further on winter is known to be cold
(by cold I mean the amount of layers Joey wore for fun in the one where no one's ready won't suffice)
rain?   yes, in several sizes, appearances and shapes
troubles?   oh yes, depends on the rain previously stated
we're talking about (multiple) fractures, wrenching and gigantic bruises because of slipping by bike or foot   ... auw
we're talking about car dents because of slipping by ... ehm car
we're talking about kilometers and kilometers of traffic jams: last year's record 950km thanks to snow and glazed frost   ... it was slippery
don't need to tell you what happens with buses (can't drive anymore), trains and trams (tracks froze up), planes (can't fly)
this year?   frrrrrrrrrrrreezing
... such fun :D


SPRING
occurs supposedly between March 21 and June 21
(don't be surprised to have a real "summer" in spring; it actually seems to become a trend)
further on spring is known to have different temperatures ranging from 0° to 30°
rain?   yes, they're called showers, especially in March and April
you can do whatever you want outside, cause it's really nice weather; you just have to be trained to know when to sprint inside
5 minutes prediction is easy: when you hear the rumble, see the sky gets armaggedon-grey to black and spot people looking up, then you know it's time to run for your life to the closest shelter where you can stay for the next 20 minutes.
this occurs in several rounds, unpredictable amount... that's why it's called "variable weather"
troubles?   not specifically, except for the possibility of soaking wet outfits 5 times a week
this year?   amaaaaaaaazing (but we were holding ours breaths for summer, quite rightly, so it seemed)
... such fun :D


SUMMER
should occur between the 21st of June and the 21st of September
("should")
further on summer is known to have different temperatures ranging from 10° to 35°
(it can be freakishly cold or terribly hot (Belgian terms) in summer)
rain?   yes, either severe thunderstorms, showers or (what I hate the most) "mosquito piss" (doesn't look like rain, but you get soaking wet)
troubles?   depends on the particular weather situation
- heat wave (yes, they do exist from time to time in Belgium): dehydration and complaining about the heat
- thunder storms: uprooted trees, damaged cars and houses, and unfortunately sometimes also casualties
- no weather (no sun, no rain, just clouds): depression and blaming the weather man/woman
this year?   sucks…
... such fun…


AUTUMN
should occur between September 21 and December 21
("should")
further on autumn is known to have average temperatures ranging from 0° to 20°
rain?   especially when school starts and ends (you don’t need a watch, just look outside, if it’s raining it’s 16h)
troubles?   not in particular
this year?   first half of September: average (= rain outside school hours); second half of September: “summer” (= two weeks of 25°, sun, sun and sun)
... such fun :D


anyway… favourite sport of the Belgians (except for commuting) is talking (mostly complaining) about the weather
you can’t enter a bakery, butcher or hairdresser without a “what a weather today he” (with a smile or sarcastic undertone depending on the situation)
- bakery last weekend: “nice weather this week he, pity it wasn’t like this during the holidays”
- butcher yesterday: “300gr cheese please” – “nice weather today he” – “yes, really nice”
- hairdresser today: 5 costumers (in 90 minutes) all talking about the weather, including the surprised exclamation “ja, amai!”
also holiday cards have one always returning favourite, apart from the food: “nice/bad weather”


PS: given the more sarcastic, complaining undertone of aforementioned post, you know I’m a Belgian :D
PPS: for Antigoni

Thursday, September 22, 2011

what about Murhpy


Murphy's favourite places for his law to make its strike:

- your front door: the gutter is leaking and attacks your favourite dress with a well-aimed drop of accumulated dirt
- halfway the route to your work: you left by bike on a sunny morning, 5 minutes later sun disappears behind a gigantic cloud, another 10 minutes later the sky turns apocalyptic black and you know a drash national will follow (term for the traditional showers on the Belgian National Holiday, in my opinion applicable on more or less every day of the year) and you’ll arrive soaking wet at your work
- at your work: outside temperature drops about below -50°C (or so it seems) and the heating is... broken (for Ca. and all university employees at the castle)
- on the way both to and from school (in other words from 7u30 to 8u30 and from 16 to 17): ... it rains
- about everywhere: meeting your ex when you look like you’ve drowned two weeks ago (for D. ;))
- about everywhere where you can eat: the combination of every form of liquids or sauces and a freshly washed outfit (for myself)
- in your bathroom: boiler’s broken when you’re in need of a hot shower (after that drash national of this morning)
- in a vacant house (in my case the one of my grandma): you’re the first to enter, meaning you’re the one to walk into a metropolis of spider webs...
- and of course… the supermarket: when you arrive by car, there’s only a place left at the far end of the parking (but when you reach the entrance all the sudden there are about 6 free parking places right in front of the door)
you chose the wrong shopping cart (god knows why only your cart sounds like a goose is trapped with his balls in every hinge of the cart)
and... duh... you chose the wrong line at the counter

grmbl...

but since my favourite type of humour is irony (oh irony)

Murphy’s law… my favourite law…


or maybe Jude Law… :D


thx to D.

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

the secrets of a lifetime

three years ago my beloved grandmother passed away.
bomma was a wonderful woman: she cared about her children, loved her grandchildren deeply and welcomed everybody in her house.
a strong loving mother you can rely on: you need someone to talk to, she listens; you need someone to chat with, she’s there, coffee and 20 different kinds of cookies included.
she’s always considerate about others, never about herself.

but bomma also had a thing for collecting stuff
or actually a fear for throwing things away

in the past three years, more than once we came across… euhm… let’s call it phenomena.
she did warn us… but still…


- EVERY drawer, shell, container… had a piece of paper in it “for protection”. Btw, we’re not talking about a uniform kind of cover, we’re talking à l’improviste: pieces of wrapping paper (not new paper, but wrapping paper from a former present), envelops (A4 size, always useable for something), pieces of wall paper (no idea where they come from, she never had this kind of wall paper), pages of a calendar (going back 40 years), pieces of toile cirée (the covers of a dining table, from 30 to 50 years ago… my personal favourite: a 90’s motive black and white dots with bright coloured triangles on the shelves of an antique cabinet)
- in the same category: EVERY closet has a little curtain in the back “for protection” (red with flowers, white with roses and… my personal favourite: baby pink with pastel butterflies in the back of that same antique cabinet)

oh boy…

- talking about calendars: not only did we find them on the bottom of the drawers; the drawers, spread throughout the house of course, were more than often filled with old calendars… kept for “the pretty pictures”…
- but what to do with those pretty pictures? … ehm… keep ‘em in the drawers; they might come in handy… for what? NO IDEA
ah wait, we did find one frame on the wall with a “pretty picture”

oh god…

- let’s go to the lace (I’m talking about little cloths aka lappekes)…
first of all, imagine a collection of statuettes (aka postuurke) with an average of 10 per m²
well, EVERY postuurke has a lappeke… every vase has a lappeke, every table has a lappeke
every window sill has a lappeke, every chimney pieces has lappekes, every sofa has a lappeke on top…
so one window sill probably has about 8 lappekes: a bigger one along the window, one under each postuurke and vase (there are 5), and 2 of the vases were placed on a plate (with lappeke)

you do the math for the amount of lappekes

ah yes… forgot… there was one on top of tv…

- btw, about those postuurkes, don’t throw them away when there broken… no no paste the pieces back together… it’s too pretty

oh boy…

- also, don’t be startled of the separation of a teapot (on a kitchen shelve) and its lid (in the basement)
still wondering how but whatever

- let’s go to the garage… or maybe not
grandpa's domain, secretly a degree worse: nails, rivets, bolts, hammers, saws, … equipment for an entire army; shovels, pitchforks, rakes, … for an entire farmer’s community; sometimes a little treasure… original roller-skates for example
and loads and loads of toys…
toys?
grandpa's toys?

oh no… they were mine… oops

haa… the secrets of bomma’s lifetime…
we still love her deeply

Friday, September 16, 2011

a conflictual creative Open Monumentsday

September 11, 2011: 10 years after the US shook to its foundations, Flanders is devoted to conflict on Open Monumentsday.

I went to Leuven, looking for witnesses of conflict...

a day of conflict between interest and the weather... between the voices of impassioned guides and the yearly Leuven fun fair... between past and present...



CONFLICT IN THE 12th CENTURY: THE FIRST FORTIFICATIONS
not much left...


one of the pieces of the fortification puzzle: a watch-tower close to Leuven's connection to Brussels
nowadays an almost forgotten piece of the city's history behind a vacant hospital


CONFLICT 1914 - 1918: WORLD WAR I
"there was really nothing over"*

the German troups took over the city and sadly burned it down to the ground...


the old university library reduced to ashes; world history in book form was lost


the sac de Louvain struck the entire city centre; everything lay down in ruins... "the blackest day in the history of the city"


only the medieval city hall remained intact... this was the head quarter of the troups.


CONFLICT 1940 - 1945: WORLD WAR II
"there was really nothing over"*



the university library was set on fire; again world history reduced to ashes
Geubels came to have a look...




CONFLICT AT UNIVERSITY LEVEL
but Leuven was not only under the spell of military conflict: Flemish- and French speaking students didn't always live peacefully together



and the exams were of course sometimes cursed



STRUGGLE FOR LIFE (OF MONUMENTS)
let's not forget the everlasting struggle for monuments
in Leuven too one fights for the preservation of monuments.


one of the precious witnesses of university history, a building waiting for decades for its restoration, is the anatomical theatre
eye-catcher for Open Monumentsday 2009, this year the building quietly stood on the outskirts of the city




but hey!   don't forget Leuven's also about students and their parties :)




* inside (Ieper) joke for the MCMS'ers


© kikirpa, Brussel; university library K.U.Leuven, Leuven; city archive, Leuven
© openmonumentendagundercover.wordpress.com

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

what’s the most frightening development in modern society


though question and despite the fact I can come up many answers, I prefer the following: poor advertising.

you know the drill (esp. in Flanders this is a well known but notorious phenomenon)… your mailbox pops from paperwork and you know you like mail!   exciting J

BUT… in that pile of paperwork after 20 minutes of digging you find… nothing but advertisements for stores you never go, coupons for products you never use and publicity for some godforsaken beauty contest… GRMBL

you know the drill… “you have seven news e-mails” and you know you like mail!   exciting J

BUT… mmm an e-mail from the bank about pre-marital saving… for couples… oh irony, you’re single; 
an e-mail with a 10% coupon for the beauty farm… located in a town 100kms from your place (a distance in Belgium considered to be “far far away”); 
4 facebook-messages… yes I know, just checked fb; 
and… and now you’re hoping for something interesting… it’s advertising for the musicals coming up, mmm nice… but… “damn, I’m broke”… 
GRMBL

you know the drill… you’re watching your favourite show on TV and are enjoying a relaxing evening! nice J

BUT… every 7 minutes, wait, no, 6 min 35 seconds, the TV station thinks they need to interrupt the show for publicity… commercial n° 1: washing powder, n°2: coffee; n°3: dog food, … n°6: cat food, … n°14: a laim clothing store, … (in the mean time you went to the toilet, got something to drink, called a friend, decorated your future home, married mr. perfect, designed your entire life and got something to eat)…

and then!   like a gift from the gods…

a commercial for potato crisps… it takes a while… but it cracks you up (probably because of the severe decline in your humor quality level) but still...


red parrot (salty) asks: "hey paprika, do you have a new hat?"


green parrot (pickles) answers: "no, I got new slippers"

...

:D laim, but hilarious :)




© croky.be

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

what to do on a grey Tuesday morning

mmm, what shall I do today...

go outside?   ney, it's windy and cold
exercise a bit?   mmm, too lazy today
clean?   are you crazy! it's your holiday
play spider solitaire on the pc?   ehmm... laim

ok, what do I do best?
ah! dressing up colourfully

I got it! let's share my colourful mission with the world

tadaaa... blog's born