2012

what a year 2011

I feel strange today... bit bizar cause I want the new year to start
2011 was a good one, for me much better than 2010
yet, I want it to be over... 2012 may start, maybe turning out to be even better than 2011

I'll try to enjoy every day to the fullest, I hope you can do this too
I wish you warm sunshine everyday, if not in the sky, in the hearts of the people you meet
I hope you have people to hug, on times you need them and for no reason at all
I wish you all a platoon of gnomes who can take over your work when you need a little bit of rest
I wish you strength when things get a bit more difficult
I hope you find reasons to smile and you will smile for no reason

in short: I wish you all a colourful 2012!!! enjoy the year!!!

unexpected colours II

mum & dad got the "colour" message and gave me for Christmas:

tadaaaaaaa

yellow and fuchsia towels :D

coincidence? no way! part III

there is no such thing as coincidence

my life is the perfect example of this

I was alone, not just only me… partially me, cause Arnout took half of me when he left

how would I survive this? do I even want to get over this? cause that means accepting the break and I didn’t want to do that

but I had to go on, and I went on as good as I could

the post-graduate year started, immediately taking a run with lectures, project works, excursions, more lectures and project works, all this in the shortest amount of time you could possibly imagine

there was even no time to doubt my choice for this course

I paid attention in class and during excursions, worked my ass off for the projects; in the mean time keeping up my social life, meeting old friends, singing in my choir, and building up a new social life, with people that would turn out to be best friends

anything was good enough to fill up that black hole around my heart that was sucking up my energy

but that black hole was also sucking up myself

I was completely forgetting myself...

so my friends (and the little voice in me) dragged me along on my quest: find me, myself and I

I went looking for me next to a drink and my friends in a bar and discovered I love going out, I love to meet new people, talk to strangers and make them think “mmm, she’s special”

I went looking for myself on a city trip to Paris, the city of love, under a warm spring sun and discovered the love of my friends completes me

I went looking for I on the study trip to Petra, Jordan, and discovered my friendship is a blessing for other people

the way to finding myself was better than I could ever imagine: new friends, new people, new self-confidence… new me

now I look upon this last year, the hardest in my life, as the greatest blessing I ever had

THESE were the greatest months of my life

this break-up happened for a reason: for me to know what I want and what I’m worth

to get stronger, you have to get through the crap

to get higher, you have to go lower

there’s more to life then you would think at first

don’t be afraid to get hurt… I know it sucks but it makes you who you are

my friends are there for me and I’m there for them

I’m free as a bird now and I enjoy life

my old friends saw me open up

my new friends saw me grow day by day

and Arnout? no clue… he might be on the other side of the world, he might have shrunk down, he might be sitting in a corner crying over me :) … I don’t really care

I attract new people in my life with a smile

nobody special, just trying to be a little ray of light in the life of other people

… the end (for now, cause I’m always open for new things)

unexpected colours I

people often amaze me in their level of "greyness"
"not too much colour, it's so... flashy"
pff

but every once in a while someone or something amazes me in a good way

the purple house, behind the Palace of the Prince-Bishop in Liège

cool :)

coincidence? no way! part II

there is no such thing as coincidence

my life is the perfect example of this

Arnout and I were made for each other, nothing could tear us apart

at least I thought so…

the last couple of months were though: hard work, no free time, thesis problems…

but what couple doesn’t have these troubles? we didn’t see each other a lot, but I could manage it…

I of course wanted more time with Arnout but there was the thesis again to distract me

it would all be better after graduation… only a couple more months/weeks/days

and there it was: graduation day J for both of us J

but it didn’t feel like I thought it would…

mmm, probably because the close future wasn’t like I suspected: he was going on a two week trip on which I wasn’t joining; after that he started a full time internship and I would go back to Leuven for a post-graduate

…

mmm, we could work it out… maybe after a small break… just a couple days of peace and thinking

two days were sufficient… for me to knew for sure we WOULD work it out

I loved him from the deepest depths of my heart and soul, we were one, we belonged together…

we would find something…

we were made for each other…

we were soulmates…

only… I was alone in that opinion…

Arnout broke up with me

we had lived happily for 2 years and 2 months

never had I experienced the pain of a real heartache

the word heartache doesn’t even do justice to what I felt

it physically hurt so much, I thought it would destroy me

I would live sadly ever after

… to be continued

coincidence? no way! part I

there is no such thing as coincidence

my life is the perfect example of this

I started to believe this about 6 years ago… small things inflicted this idea

stories of an acquaintance (a man who travelled the world along prisons and wrote a book about it, hitchhiked home with a total stranger who was reading that book), the way my cousins and friends got to know there boy/girlfriends, winning the last tickets to a concert I really wanted to go to…

coincidence? it all seemed a bit too coincidental

4 years ago, at Christmas, this all took a massive turn: I was feeling down, my boyfriend dumped me and I felt a bit lost

I was sitting at the feast table, a bit absent, but happy with the company of my family, when my cousin B. had to make an announcement for his wedding. I told him “ho, wait a second… stand up! this kind of announcements deserves the proper treatment” ;)

he stood up and at that time he gave me THE best Christmas present I ever had and ever will have: he asked me to be his maid of honour :D

as an only child and having only good friends that have more than enough brothers and sisters as possible candidates, I never expected to be a maid of honour, now I could be my cousins, my “big brother”s…

I can assure you, this kind of presents at a time you’re feeling down do not at all feel like just a present… to me, it’s was a sign

even more… my cousin-in-law-to-be R. told us her younger brother Arnout would be her best man…

Arnout ... that name… hearing that name, only his name… I felt at ease, in that degree even I could let go of everything… I knew him somehow … it felt right

some months passed, and finally in April I got to know Arnout …

never met him before, but I knew him, he knew me, we could skip the “obligatory” getting to know each others’ occupancies etc. and go directly to hours of small talk about anything and everything

we got together, the greatest months of my life

everybody that knew us together told the same story: “you are SO great together”, “one wedding inflicts another”, “you’re made for each other, you can tell”

… and actually… we were made for each other

when I was with him, I felt good, I felt complete, nothing could take us apart

this was no coincidence, it was faith

they lived happily ever after (or so would the fairy tale end)

… to be continued

the internship - part II: the governmental copy machine

situation sketch: for the 78th time in 5 weeks my across-the-corridor neighbour (and genuine stereotype ambtenaar) comes and asks me about the study of one of the palaces in Belgium
it's an unpublished study that I need for my thesis, that is THE ONLY copy in the building
now, being occupied in a full-time internship, I can't devote myself full-time to the thesis (nobody can, at least not normal people, and besides the high level of craziness, I'm still quite normal on that level)
I know, the study is there on my desk (being THE ONLY copy), staring at me and giving me the feeling of guilth BUT all in good time... I will get to it

now... Jan (genuine stereotype ambtenaar's name) comes stumbling and hobbling out of his office, standing a while in his doorway (in the mean time I typed 10 sentences, read an article and checked my e-mails) and finally says

Jan : "do you still have the study of the Egmont Palace?"
me: "yes, I still have it on my desk", thinking it's been there for weeks, no I didn't take it home

Jan: "did you copy it yet?"
me: "no, do you need it urgently?", the word urgently almost making me burst into laughter since the concept of "urgent" is NOT in an ambtenaar's dictionnary
Jan: "no no, not at all but it's THE ONLY copy"

*boom* (that was me exploding... I know by now it's the only copy)

all right, all right... I'm off to the governmental copy machine that after 2 copies gives an error

... after 2 copies
... an error

OH SCREW THAT ONLY COPY :)